I’m generally willing to share a lot of very personal information on my blog. My focus is on mental health (a very personal topic), and my goal is to help others who struggle like me, and the best way I know how to do that is to share my own life experiences and everything I’ve learned along the way. With that being said, this post will by far be one of the most personal posts I’ve shared, and one of the hardest topics for me to talk about, but I know there are so many other women out there who struggle like I do and may be in a similar situation, so I’m here to help.
So, are you pregnant and struggling to find mental and emotional support from those around you? Regardless of lack of support, I’d like to start off by saying congratulations! Unlike some, I am very happy for you and a child is a beautiful thing!
I consider myself very lucky because the majority of people in my life have reminded me of my strength, my courage, and my capability to be a wonderful mother. Am I in the best position to have a child? No. I don’t have a super high-paying job, a marriage that’s been “perfect” and successful for the last 3-5 years, and a big, beautiful house to welcome my first child into. You know that cookie-cutter, seemingly wonderful life. That’s not my life, and that is not the hand that I was dealt, but I don’t believe that that makes me any less capable as a provider and as a mother.
During my moments of “can I really do this? How will I afford a child? Will I have a place in time? How am I supposed to pay off all of this debt? How can I raise a child to have a better life than I did?” otherwise known as “my freakout moments,” I have those around me reminding me that everything happens for a reason, everything will be fine, it will all fall into place, and I’m strong enough to handle anything.
But, on the flip-side, I’ve been told some really awful, damaging things as well. When I told someone that I wish they had more faith in me, they responded with “it’s too late to have faith. You just need to be realistic.” If I hadn’t improved my confidence, been so positive lately, and implemented the law of attraction into my life, I would have crumbled at that. That would have been the moment I simply started to give up on myself, and thank God I didn’t. My son doesn’t need a quitter as a mother because he already deserves so much more than that. He deserves a fighter.
And let me tell you, it is NEVER too late to have faith. When you have faith, beautiful things start happening in this world. I promise you that.
I was also informed by said person when the news came out that I need to go have an abortion because having the baby would be selfish because I’ll never be able to give the baby a “good life.”
Talk about a boost of confidence, eh?
I was then informed shortly after that, that a specific family member should just adopt the baby and raise it since this person would be able to “afford to take care of the baby.”
I swear, I couldn’t make this stuff up.
All of these things were said to me while I was processing the idea of my pregnancy, going through the physicalities of pregnancy (you know, sick and exhausted!), working two jobs (I got a second job within two weeks of finding out), struggling with my mental health + the additional stress, finding a place of my own (currently on a waiting list), going to doctor’s appointment, dealing with insurance, and prepping for baby to get here. I certainly didn’t sit on my ass like I didn’t give a shit. I’ve worked so damn hard, even if that doesn’t make a difference to those around me, it makes a difference to me. It makes me proud.
While all of those words made me feel weak, hopeless, powerless, and less of a mother and a human being, I haven’t allowed them to change the way that I view my child, motherhood, or my life. Is it going to be hard? Yes! But is it completely possible to provide my child with a loving, safe, fun, and joyful environment and life, and that is something I don’t doubt for a single second.
Now that I’ve shared a little bit of my story, I want to share with you 5 tips that you can use if you’ve found yourself dealing with someone who hasn’t been very supportive of your pregnancy! It is possible, ladies.
Lean on those who do support you
I am so thankful for those in my life who have been nothing but excited, encouraging, and supportive since day one. Find those around who shower you with love and congratulations at the news of your pregnancy and turn to them for support. I find that talking to my “mom friends” has been so helpful! I’m getting lots of advice on the baby shower planning, funny stories about their first-time-mom mistakes. It helps keep me positive and reminds me what a blessing my child is! Try to keep yourself surrounded by that positivity as much as possible to help push away the negative!
Bring the law of attraction into your life
One of the best ways to keep yourself positive is to use the law of attraction in order. No matter what you want to attract into yourself, speak and live as if you already have it! Check out some of my posts on the law of attraction if you’re interested in learning more about the practice!
Think about all the happiness that surrounds a child; they’re always a blessing!
Regardless of whether those around you support you or not, focus on where your life is going. It doesn’t matter where you are now, what matters is where you’re taking your life. It’s important to remember (no matter what anyone else thinks) that a child is always a blessing. One day, you’re going to look at your child and not be able to remember what life was like without your child. They will bring so much happiness and love into your life, and for your sake and your child’s sake, you can’t allow anyone to take that away from you.
Think about the type of mother you want your child to have & be that person NOW!
I think a lot of us have thought about motherhood long before any of it came into our reality; the type of mother you want to be, how you’ll interact with your children, and how you’ll want them to remember you and their childhood one day. Think about what it would take to be that person, and that mother, and be that woman NOW! Don’t wait to figure it out someday. Act as that person now and the best for you and your child because regardless of what other’s think, it is completely possible.
Don’t let negative people disturb your peace
I’ve heard this statement recently; “don’t let other people disturb your peace,” and I really loved that. We all have our own thoughts and our own energy that we have control over. Just because someone else has a negative mindset and energy doesn’t mean they have ANY sort of power over yours. They don’t! Start working on your confidence and your own inner voice to help keep you at peace even when others around you and throwing war-worthy words at you.
Are you struggling to find support during your pregnancy?
How far along you?
How are you staying positive during this time?