Fridays are when I really like to post my recaps and focus on my mental health, but there is so much more I want to add to them, and there are so many reasons why they’ve basically stopped. Since my blog is centered around my mental health, how I cope, and how I can help others, my mental health actually has so much to do with the direction my blog has taken, and honestly, I don’t love it.
I’ve been looking at my blog as a whole over the last month, and I’ve seen such a huge difference in it lately. It’s just not as personal anymore. I feel like it’s become so generic, and that is what I wanted to stay so far away from! I want to connect with my readers on a new level, and right now, I’m not even close.
But, before I keep rambling, I just want to give a list of reasons for why I am where I am, why I’m not doing the things I truly want to do, and why I have faded.
I really want to add more recipes, DIYs, and fun adventures to my blog! I want to do this for two reasons; one, it’s awesome content, and two, it makes for such a fun life! But, I haven’t done any of that, and to be completely honest, open, and real, my biggest reasons are time and money. I’m in a position right now where I’m paying off a lot of debt from school and bad choices I made as a teenager. I feel like I’m in a position where I’m paying for my past before I can live out my future. Because of those financial struggles and the time-crunch I’m dealing with (baby on the way!) I’m working two jobs.
Every single penny goes to my phone bill, car payment/insurance, and paying off debt as quickly as possible and desperately trying to keep my head above water considering I also need to be paying for my own place to live by February. That doesn’t leave me any extra to pay for food for fun recipes to share, cool DIYs, or fun trips and outings. I feel like these two factors are putting me in a position that is holding me back.
To be 100% honest, I’m pretty lost, and I feel like I’m just stuck in a rut and walking around in circles, but I’ve been working with the LOA to bring abundance and happiness into my life. I haven’t given up on that because I know hard work and LOA are the secret to moving past this, but I guess I just wanted everyone to understand why things have been the way they’ve been. I know so many people can relate to this.
Being in this position really has put me into a rough mental state. I’m not having anxiety attacks or anything, but it has affected my depression. It’s made it really difficult to put in the work and to get out of bed before noon each day. I’ve had restless nights and bad headaches and body aches, all while trying to stay calm and positive for the sake of my baby and pregnancy.
I’ve been doing some thinking about taking one step at a time to try to improve the blog and put more into because it truly does make me happy and in the long run it can help solve some of my other problems as well which will only lead to bigger and better things! I want my first step to be incorporating those recipes into my blog, even if it’s only using things around the house. I can definitely make more “finance-friendly” meals and snacks! My goal is always to help people like me, and I do believe this can be really useful for others!
I also want to do more. I’m not sure exactly what I’ll be doing, but I want to get out of the house and force myself to do SOMETHING, even if it’s just walking around downtown, going to the lake by myself, or walking around Target and then writing at Panera. (ya’ll know I love Panera!) I just want to push myself to get out of bed and live my life even if it’s not where I want it to be yet.
Have you experienced this before?
Would anyone be interested in me including cheap recipes?