It’s no secret that relationships generally lasted longer and were more successful during our grandparents’ and great-grandparents’ younger days. Things were obviously very different back then and a lot of those differences helped the older generations learn how to maintain happier, healthier, longer-lasting relationships. Below are 7 tips for helping your relationships be a little more “old-fashioned.”
Lay off of social media
Social media is just dangerous and can be very damaging to your relationship. It gives you a place to vent about your relationship to those who have no business knowing about your problems. It helps you keep tabs on your partner and vice versa, limiting you and your partner’s independence and freedom as individuals. It allows you to maintain a certain control over your partner and that can lead to unhealthy habits and relationship anxiety. It can also lead to relationship comparisons.
Older generations didn’t have access to the rest of the world the way that we do. They had no way of keeping tabs on their partners and venting to the world unless it was by megaphone in the center of town (and I’m sure that was far too much work!) The older generations had each other and those close to them and for them, that was enough. It allowed them to focus on their relationships and the small world around them without all those distractions. It also allowed them to live freely and independently with no other choice than to simply trust each other.
Call instead of texting
Of course, it’s nice to get a sweet text from your partner here and there, but the older generations didn’t have that. They had to pick up the phone, hope their significant other was available to answer, and have a conversation. If you want to be a little more old-fashioned, limit your texting and make a phone call.
Limit communication throughout the day
With that being said, that doesn’t mean you should blow up your partner’s phone with calls all day. Try limiting communication a little more, and saving all that chatting for later. Give your partner some space during their day to work, go to class, or see their friends and family. That space will only bring you closer.
When you’re together, put away your phone and turn off the Netflix. It’s fine to have your lazy nights binge-watching your favorite shows together but try to spend the majority of your time talking over dinner or doing something active. Try to avoid technology and spend your time together focusing on each other.
Also, avoid making other phone calls, texting, or checking social media. Give all of your attention to your partner. Those text messages and Facebook updates can wait.
Show your love with small gestures
Back in the day, they weren’t able to shout their love to the world via social media to make their partner feel special. Bringing home a nice bouquet, cooking his favorite dinner more often, or doing your partner’s least favorite chore for them should be just fine.
Take it slow
Back in the day, after a first date, a few days usually went by before another phone call was made. Nowadays, some people get knocked up on the first date! Take it slow, give each other space, and get to know each other from the start. There is no reason to rush anything. You don’t need to start texting him/her as soon as you part ways at the front door.
In addition, go at your own pace. Just because your friends got married to their significant others within the first two years of dating doesn’t mean that you should. IF you even want to hit those milestones, hit them at your own pace.
Lower your expectations
Decide what YOU want out of your relationship and what YOUR standards are. Once you are able to figure yourself and your desires out, you’ll be able to maintain your relationship a little more smoothly. Like I mentioned just because that couple over there is doing this certain thing in their relationship does not mean that you should too. Stop comparing your relationship to others, set your standards, and be happy. It’s important to keep your standards high, but be sure that your expectations aren’t too unrealistic.