This is a short post, but it’s something that I find to be really important when viewing your relationship, and it can help give you a new perspective, especially when things get tough.
The 80/20 rule of relationships is pretty popular nowadays, and once I learned about it, it made me look at my own relationship in a different light. If you haven’t heard of the 80/20 rule and you’re having some struggles in your relationship, get ready for some mind-blowing advice.
The 80 comes from loving 80% of your partner’s qualities. The 80% is what you see at the very beginning of your relationship; your partner’s attractive looks, their kindness towards others, their hardworking personality, and their humor.
Over time, the other 20% of their personality comes out. You begin to find out that your partner isn’t the most romantic, he’s very forgetful, and he’s terrible at texting you back. As time goes on, these things really begin to irritate you, and one small problem turns into a more significant problem, then an even more significant problem, and suddenly, a huge fight explodes and turns into an ugly breakup, all because of one small flaw in your partner.
The 80/20 rule is something that is so important to keep in mind as you begin to see the more unpleasant sides of your partner. Most people allow that small 20% to take over the love and acceptance they once felt for their partner. They focus on the negative aspects, and suddenly it all falls apart.
Then, you meet someone else who gives you the 20% that you were missing with your partner before. He’s super romantic, remembered your birthday immediately, and always texts back within seconds. But, it doesn’t take long to realize that they ONLY have that 20%. He is super lazy, can’t keep a job, and doesn’t understand your jokes. The other 80% of positive qualities you found in your other partner are long gone. It really puts things into perspective, and you begin to realize what is actually important.
Would you rather go after someone who gives you that measly 20% that once seemed SO important, or would you rather stick by your partner who is amazing 80% of the time? If you look at your relationship and your partner when putting the 80/20 rule into perspective, it doesn’t take long to realize how unimportant the 20% really is.
Focus on the 80%, focus on the happiness, focus on acceptance and you’ll realize how lucky you really are.
If you want more on relationships, check out my eBook, The Relationship Bible for Anxiety!