19 Basic Rules of A Healthy Relationship

Honesty is always the best policy

If you or your partner can look each other in the eye and be dishonest, then you’ve got a problem with your relationship. A healthy relationship will always stay loyal and honest, no matter what the situation is. You should never be okay knowing that your dishonesty was the cause of your partner’s pain.

Always apologize

When you are wrong, apologize! Even if you only contributed slightly to an issue, look back at what you could have done differently and own up to your mistakes. It shows your partner that you’re serious about doing what is best for the relationship and you’re willing to let go of your ego. 

Time together is crucial

Quality time together is more important than money spent or gifts bought. Walking through the park or watching a movie is just as meaningful as an expensive dinner. Setting aside time specifically for you and your partner is extremely important if you want your bond to grow stronger. It’s not about finding the time, it’s about making the time. 

Remain independent

You can’t remain attached to your partner’s hip forever. It’s important to give the relationship room to breath by pursuing your own hobbies, hanging out with family and friends, and still making time for yourself. Remember that just because you chose to share your life with this person does not mean that you’re no longer separate individuals.

Love unconditionally

Loving unconditionally means overlooking your partner’s flaws, past, and mistakes and choosing to love them anyway. If you hope to have a healthy relationship, you must learn to accept every aspect of your partner and love them regardless.

Never try to control your partner

Your partner was surviving before they met you, so there is no reason to waltz into their life and try to gain control over them. Avoid ever controlling your partner’s actions, desires, or thoughts. Remember that you fell in love with them for who they are, so why bother trying to change them? A relationship should always be equal.

Spoil your partner 

Both men and women deserve to be spoiled in relationships, but this doesn’t mean with materialistic things. Spoil your partner with respect, humor, back rubs, good food, their favorite movie, a romantic walk, great sex, admiration, forehead kisses, and dancing. Shower them with love and make the small things count.

Keep private matter private

Everyone shares aspects of their relationship with those closest to them, but don’t overdo it. Your friends don’t need to know about the trouble that your partner is having at work, their most embarrassing moment, how much they make, their biggest fears, or that kinky thing that they love in bed. There are always certain things that should remain private in your relationship, and by keeping your lips zipped, you are showing your partner loyalty and respect. 

Make sex a priority

Yes, sex should be a priority in your relationship! Sex relieves stress, it’s fun, and it brings you and your partner closer in such an intimate way.

Always remain loyal

Loyalty to your partner means making them a priority and having their back. When you’re loyal to your partner, they know that they can come to you with absolutely anything, knowing that you’ll be there to love and support them above all else. 

Keep your jealousy and insecurities under control

Insecurities tend to lead to jealous thoughts, and this can be deadly to your relationship. A little jealousy on occasion is natural, but if you allow your insecurities in yourself to make your jealousy go overboard, you’re just going to push your partner away. This also shows that you don’t trust them. Have faith in their character and faith in their love for you, and you’ll be just fine.

Continue to appreciate your partner 

Never stop thanking your partner and showing them how grateful you are to have such a wonderful person in your life. Never let all those small gestures go unnoticed. When your boyfriend does the dishes for you, thank him! When your girlfriend once again rolled you out of bed in time for work because you kept ignoring your alarm clock, appreciate her for it! Appreciation makes your partner feel important and loved, and it shows your partner that you truly care.

Only argue in private

Arguing in front of family, friends, co-workers, or strangers is bad business for both of you! It makes everyone around you uncomfortable and brings other people into your business. If you’re out and you’re ready for a scrap, either ask your partner if you can speak in private or wait until you leave. 

Quit criticizing

You’re supposed to love your partner unconditionally. By constantly criticizing them and judging each and every flaw, you’re making them feel unworthy. Nobody is perfect, so remember to pick your battles. It would be more important to approach your boyfriend lovingly about his drinking habit instead of the fact that you can’t stand that he just can’t seem to properly match his outfits. By criticizing all the small things you quickly turn them unnecessarily into big things.

Leave the past in the past

This is an important one! If you have any hopes of having a healthy and prosperous relationship, you must learn to forgive and leave past mistakes behind you. Moving forward with your partner, especially after hard times, will only be for the best. If you continually bring up an error that your partner made long ago, you’re not honestly over it, and you will never be able to move forward with that person in a healthy way.

Communicate, communicate, communicate

Yes, communication really is super important. If you have a problem, say it. If you’re angry, tell your partner. It’s important to communicate your feelings and about your relationship in general. If you avoid communication, eventually tension is going to build, and that’ll lead to a very unhealthy relationship.

Fight fair

Part of communication is fighting. It’s inevitable. It does not matter how happy you and your partner are, or how healthy the relationship is. Every single couple fights, but the difference between a healthy couple and an unhealthy couple is making sure your fights are fair. This includes using a calm tone, being respectful, avoiding name calling and yelling, and leaving past arguments in the past.

Never take their freedom away

Freedom is essential in a relationship, and this is a fact that I actually learned the hard way. If your partner feels smothered or constricted, they won’t stay around for very long. They need to know that they are still free to live their own life while still having your love and support, and you deserve the same. Obviously, relationships have boundaries, so you’re not free to do whatever you want, but as long as you’re staying within the boundaries, then freedom shouldn’t be a problem. 

Make trust the foundation of your relationship

If there isn’t any trust, there is no reason to be in a relationship with your partner. It’s that simple. If there isn’t any trust…

You’ll lack communication
You’ll lack freedom
Your fights won’t be very fair
There is also probably jealousy and insecurities on either one or both sides 
You’re going to overthink
You’re going to be overly dependent on your partner
Your relationship will be filled with fear and anxiety

All of these things can be caused by a lack of TRUST! Just trust your partner in all aspects of your relationship and build from that foundation. 

If you want more on relationships, check out my eBook, The Relationship Bible for Anxiety!


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