Of course, of course, of course, the week I have a ton of photos to share, I really don’t want to talk about my week, but here we are. Even though I share a lot of my life on my site, there are some really, really personal things that I do try to keep off of the internet.
This week, one of those things happened. It’s a situation that I’m still emotionally and mentally dealing with and will be for a long time, but I will be sharing a how-to post eventually (I haven’t decided when yet) on how I’m handling the situation and how others can handle it as well. I plan to write the post today while everything is fresh, but it won’t come out for a bit, just to give the dust some time to settle.
With that being said, let’s jump back to last Friday. I mentioned in my last recap that it literally took all day just to write that post. I kept drifting away and coming back to it. I really just needed a day to not do anything. My day did get a lot better though! In the evening, I met up with three friends for Mexican. We spent over three hours just eating, drinking, and talking. Catching up with these girls is so much fun!
Saturday started out a bit rough, but it turned out to be a relaxing, and decent mental day. I could feel my anxiety grasping at me in the morning, so I just made some hot chocolate, sat at the table listening to the rain, and closed my eyes while I took deep breaths. I really just needed a moment to pull myself together before the anxiety came over me.
I didn’t do much on Saturday either. I cuddled with Coby for a long time, watched Spy, and took a nap! It was a bit of a late nap, though, so I ended up staying up until around midnight. Later on, before going to sleep I did a one-hour mediation by Rasa Lukosiute. It was excellent!
I was dragging on Sunday! I had to work super early, so needless to say, I just wasn’t in the best mood. You know those days where you just can’t deal with people? That was one of those days!
This smoothie was really symbolic for me. I know that sounds weird, but here’s a little fact that I’ve never shared here before because it’s just a little difficult to talk about. I was pregnant. Back in the fall (mid-October) I got the news. Unfortunately, I miscarried on November 3rd.
That was one of the most difficult and heartbreaking moments of my entire life. If you’ve ever experienced this, you know how awful it is to go through. I would have been due around July 3rd. Because it was Mother’s Day last Sunday, my mom stopped into my work and brought me a smoothie because I was “almost a momma.” I held myself together all day until that happened. I cried.
But anyway, after work, I stopped and grabbed Chinese food for my mom and me. We ate and watched movies for the afternoon. Later on, I got a bit of work done, read in a bubble bath, and I was in bed early!
Sunday night I fell asleep to a lucid dreaming meditation. Unfortunately, nothing good came out of it. I ended up having just a really, really awful nightmare that messed with my head the following day.
Because I was feeling so messed up mentally, I headed straight outside for a long walk. I felt a lot better when I was done. It was a little rainy, warm, and the woods made me feel like I was in a rainforest.
Later on in the day, my friend, Kendra and I went out to a really neat store called 2nd & Charles. It’s mostly new and used books, but they also sell CDs, records, collectibles, etc. I was so glad she told me about this place. It was so neat. The location used to be a Borders, but it’s been sitting empty for years.
After 2nd & Charles, we headed to the mall and just walked around. Neither of us bought anything all day, and that’s quite an accomplishment. We just walked and talked! It was so hot out and after all that walking, I felt so gross, but it was nice to get active doing something so fun!
The babies are getting so big!
Tuesday was just one of those days… for my readers who know me! I worked until 3, showered, crawled into bed by 4:30 and went to sleep! It wasn’t an easy mental day and it just got the best of me.
Thankfully, my day went much better on Wednesday. Work went well, I learned a new awesome anxiety method, and I felt so motivated and productive.
For lunch, I had chicken, brown rice, green beans, peas, and corn.
Thursday was just a work-on-the-patio kind of day!
Friday was when everything started…
I started my day with a long, long walk listening to manifestation videos and podcasts. I followed the techniques and I’m not going to lie… things got weird. During my walk and while following the techniques, there were two different times that two pairs of birds swooped down right in front of me. Didn’t think anything of it.
I did another lap.
Then back near the spot in the picture above, instead of birds, there was a squirrel just watching me. Just staring.
I did another lap.
Same spot again. This time it was a cat. It was watched me and then would walk about 10 feet before stopping and watching me again, waiting for me to catch up. It did this over and over again until it stopped in a yard, watched me pass by, and then disappeared. It was such a strange, but incredible experience.
Unfortunately, the rest of the day was when it all went downhill.
I’m skipping all that, though!
Have a great week!