I know my recap is super late… but it’s here now!
It started out with a 4 AM shift at work on Friday (when this was supposed to be posted.) I’ve been trying to bring food to work so I’m eating healthier and saving money! I had grapes and a blueberry pomegranate superfruit snack bar from CVS on my break.
I had every intention of coming home from work and spending the rest of the beautiful, sunny day being super productive, but my nerves took over. I held myself together through my anxiety until about 1:30 and then completely fell apart. I actually had a panic attack for the first time in well over a month, maybe longer.
After my attack, I took a long shower and then headed out to run an errand and get some fresh air. When I came home, I was so drained. I knew I couldn’t focus on being productive so I just laid on the couch with Coby and watched a Bones marathon for a little while until I was mentally ready to put some effort in (hence the reason my recap is now being written).
Now, I’ll throw back to last Friday. I was off of work, which is always good news. I had a grapefruit, with my yogurt/protein powder, banana, strawberry, and granola combo. My favorite breakfast!
I was really hoping for a better day than the day before, which you can read about here, but unfortunately, it turned out to be the same, and I crumbled again.
Around 10 pm that night, I actually went out and went over to Krystal’s. It was completely unexpected, but I’m so glad I went. It was a night filled with talk of anxiety and coping methods, and I honestly learned so much that night. It was eye-opening. I got home around 3:30 in the morning and passed out!
Saturday turned out to be a rainy and windy day, but I loved it. I love those dark, rainy spring days just as much as I love the warm, sunny ones. There’s something so soothing about rainy days.
I wasn’t supposed to work, but I ended up going in to help out anyway. It was a really laid-back and relaxing day. That kind of rainy day calls for curling up with a good book, so when I got home I spent the rest of the evening reading and finished my latest book! I’ll share the book in just over a week along with a review and a recipe in a new series!
Before bed, I had a bag of chamomile & a bag of caramel bedtime tea together. I’ve mentioned before that I’m trying to turn to more natural solutions to daily problems; like trouble sleeping! This tea definitely did it. I actually slept great that night!
Sunday was a really slow morning at home. In the late morning, I spent a couple hours at Will’s. Then, we stopped out for lunch before he went off to work. That is the face he always makes when I start taking photos of him doing random things like laundry. I do it now just to get him to laugh. Once I got back home, I spent some time with the dogs (they love when you roll around on the floor with them) and then spent the rest of my afternoon and evening working on the computer. I had another 4 AM shift on Monday, so I tried to sleep early, but it didn’t happen. I tossed and turned all night long. I definitely should’ve tried the tea again.
Tuesday was a weird day. I worked at home throughout the day and then was scheduled to help out at a different location for work in the evening. I stayed there until about 8:30 and my anxiety had just been going and going all day. I’d have my good moments, and then that anxiety would rise back up. By the end of the night, I was pretty much a hot mess and in desperate need of a hug. I was working closer to Will’s job, so I ended up spending some time with him after work.
If you have anxiety, you know that it can sometimes make you very bitchy, crabby, and sensitive, and I will 100% admit that I was all three of those things that night and I struggled. I’m gonna write a post on soon about how to handle anger in the situations so you can get through it with feelings, emotions, mental states, and your partner all intact 😉
I’ll actually probably write the post later today because yesterday I was thrown in a situation that I took very personally and made me very angry (you’ll know about my day in next week’s recap) but I FINALLY made it to the point where I conducted myself extremely well and made it through the situation without having a mental breakdown or causing a massive, completely unnecessary blowup argument. I’m actually really excited to share this progress with you all! The major of my how-to posts actually come from things that I experience in my life.
This isn’t a pretty picture, and for that, I apologize, but this lovely plate was breakfast on Wednesday! Salmon, sweet potato, & green beans, corn, and peas topped with a bit of garlic salt (because it helps with the taste of veggies.) One thing I hate the most in this world is vegetables, but I’m trying to incorporate them into my diet more as my palate changes. I really want to love veggies… I’m a huge fan of corn and peas, but the green beans… not so much!
I was off work on Thursday but had my alarm set for an exciting appointment! I ended up waking up 2 minutes before my alarm was set to go off, and I jumped. Like, really jumped. It was so, so sunny out and I thought I missed my appointment. Having so much sun reminded me of Florida and my Caribbean cruises. It made me crave palm trees.
Anyway, I had an appointment with a counselor at a community college. I went years ago after high school, but I had the typical issues with financial aid and couldn’t afford to put any more classes on credit cards. I wanted to keep going so bad but just couldn’t afford it anymore. With my current financial situation, student loans shouldn’t be a problem to obtain this time around.
So, I plan to go back to the community college to take as many classes towards my degree as I can and then transfer to Wayne State University in Detroit to finish out my bachelor’s in psychology. I have plans to continue after that to obtain my masters, as well. I have life plans, and that makes me feel so in control and so excited for my future. I really needed a boost like this, I just needed to make these moves in my own time. And now is my time 🙂
After my appointment, I stopped at home and grabbed my laptop bag and headed to the library to work. I had some editing, writing, & future planning to do!
I’ll fill you in on this busy weekend in the next recap! Have a happy Sunday!