Anxiety can make everything in life seem so scary and unsafe. You begin to question everything, and because of this, you can just never seem to relax. It is absolutely exhausting. I have stressed myself out and caused my own anxiety by trying to convince myself I should be doing certain things just because that’s what any normal, super social person would do.
In the past few months, and especially since I began my Self-Love Instagram Challenge, I’ve finally accepted that I do not have to be apart of everything happening around me if I’m not comfortable. Everyone is comfortable in different situations and the fact that mine may be different than those around me, shouldn’t affect my anxiety… and they really shouldn’t affect yours either.
Instead of fighting these fears, I’ve come to accept them for what they are; irrational anxiety. I’ve learned the importance of doing things that make ME feel safe and calm. I call these things my “happy places.”
Some of mine include:
- Dinner and drinks with Krystal
- Working on my blog with hot chocolate
- Browsing at the bookstore
- Talking with my mom
- Reading in a bubble bath
- Watching a movie with Will
Some of my happy places involve other people, and some are all about me.
Something that has really triggered my anxiety is recognizing that my happy places are different than other people’s. For example, one of the places that Will is most comfortable is being surrounded by a lot of people. He’s extremely social and being around others is something he’s used to. I’m the opposite, and that’s something that used to really upset me. He could see these outings triggering my anxiety. Eventually, he just started doing these things without me, which of course triggered more anxiety, because why would he ever do things without me???
This was when I realized… These things are fun for him and stressful for me. Being around big groups is something that relaxes him and makes me anxious. When I realized this, I fought it as hard as possible to feel “normal,” but I realized that I am normal. We’re all different, and we prefer different things, and that’s perfectly okay. Some of my happy places are different than his, or my friends’, or yours, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I’ve accepted it and learned to choose myself before others, and that has eased so much anxiety from my life.
Focusing on my “happy places” has helped me put my focus on my own happiness. If you’re ever feeling overwhelmed, anxious, sad, or just out of it, find a happy place where you’re completely calm and comfortable. Find your safe haven. And remember, there is no right or wrong here, just happiness.
Where are your “happy places?”